Wouldn't it be amazing if weddings were like college orientation weekend where you step up to the registration table, sign in, receive your room key and you're done? Maybe play a few "get to know you games" like trainwreck or never have I ever or Quarters with unfamiliar relatives? Our next wedding might just be a bonfire on the beach. But in the mean time, we submit to the wedding gods, er, moms and plan the most fabulous affair they can imagine.
There is one part Will and I have total control over though...Registration. I mean, the registries. Whatever. You know, you get the scanner gun and go traipsing through the store aiming at everything your little heart has ever desired. Real, non-generic zip lock bags - scan. Charmin toilet paper - scan. Yankee candle - scan. Will finally reigned me in when I hit the cleaning aisle and went straight for the swiffer. "Hon, I was thinking we should register for things that we wouldn't normally buy for ourselves and I fully intend on buying a swiffer before the wedding in October." So I gave him complete control over the scanner. It worked out much better that way.
Will strategically mapped out our path through each store so we wouldn't miss an aisle and I just pointed at things I thought maybe we could use over the next, you know, lifetime. Somehow we still ended up with a few questionable items. Like the grill press. Will was mesmerized by this grill press at Williams-Sonoma. I asked what it was for and he said, "you put it on your steak while it's on the grill so it holds it down." My mistake, I thought that's what gravity was for, but I must have misunderstood. Whatever, it's for the grill, which I am completely aware is none of my business. On with the grill press. Plus Will says our registries are like a dream wish list so why hold back? Kinda makes me wish I put that swiffer on there....
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Starting to Laugh About It
Wedding planning is starting to become funny - now that I look back on it. It's definitely filled with all the stress that everyone talks about and for a girl who hasn't had her wedding planned since she was six, I feel like I'm starting from scratch. But we've got some details nailed down and the way they are falling into place is making me laugh. The next few months may be devoted to wedding blogging since that occupies most of my free time outside of the hospital - plus, maybe someone with a talent will read it and laugh - or feel pity and offer to give us something for free, like photography, flowers, invitations or music. And preferably in that order.
Dress Shopping
I hated it. What bride says that? Wait, that was weird. I just called myself a bride. That will take some getting used to. But I am a bride and a bride without a plan. I've never dreamed about my wedding dress. I haven't had it picked out since I was a little girl. I don't even wear that much white for fear it will make my arms look like marshmallows. So walking into a bridal salon - wait - first making an appointment to try on gowns - was odd. I never have to make an appointment at Ross Dress for Less and they gladly let me try on as much crap as I want.
I went by myself the first time. I know. Sacrilege. Not going with my own mother. But I was flooded with uncertainty and didn't want to bring her along to influence an opinion I hadn't even formed yet. There were so many things to consider - shape, neckline, fabric - apparently all of which must appropriately match the time and location of your wedding, which was yet to be determined. Everyone wants to know what you want to look like on your wedding day which is another loaded question that I always answered much more sarcastically in my head. Something like a bride maybe? I don't know...maybe something in the white family? I think I've seen some brides wear white before. What kind of question is that? Do people actually answer that question with anything less pathetic than "like a princess?" Blah. This isn't Halloween and I won't be carrying a wand or wearing wings. If only Disney had a line for girls who want to look like a normal bride on their wedding day. So I was stumped.
Unlike the Kleinfeld consultants on Say Yes to the Dress who pick dresses for you, all my consultants made me wade through piles of satin to select things I thought I would like. At first this idea appealed to me. I will be wearing it, and I pick out all the rest of my clothes like a big girl, so why shouldn't I pick out my own wedding dress? Clearly no one knew how dangerous I could be. I became a spitfire of criticism right off the bat. I knew what I did not want, but had no idea what I did want. Rouching and satin were out from the beginning. Whoever convinced an entire species of women that gathering up extra fabric and bunching it around your waist would make you look skinnier was a genius. Turns out I'm on to you. I know your trick and I raise you. Rouching makes everyone look thicker and wider. But the rouching seamstresses have saturated the market and are in cahoots with the satin fairies so asking for something that is NOT satin and that does NOT have rouching is like asking for ice water in hell. People look at you like you are a lost puppy who needs to find her way back to the yellow brick road that leads to rouching and satin. Listen - it's not that I hate satin of everyone. I just hate it on me. It stems from a traumatic experience during college when I was large and in charge in a purple satin dress for some sorority formal. No one had the nerve to tell me that fruit of the loom was not invited to the party and when I look back at those pictures (in my memory - the actuals have been destroyed) I get sick to my stomach. Satin and I have never made amends and I doubt we ever will.
I finally manged to find some gowns in reasonable fabrics that I liked. I just liked them though. There were no tears, no skips around the room, no squeals. I was starting to get the idea. Pick a few dresses. "Dive" into them. Sort in order of preference. Repeat. I narrowed the shape down to two and selected an ideal neck line. I was ready to bring my mom along. The other thing that everyone wants to know as soon as you walk in the door is your budget. You're never supposed to try on dresses outside of your budget because if you fall in love and can't afford it, the heartbreak is unbearable....supposedly. I made up an arbitrary budget based on what I have seen on Say Yes to the Dress and told the saleslady. It was a modest budget compared to the show, but definitely reasonable to find a dress to wear on my wedding day. I also mentioned that there was a dress in a magazine that I loved and wished to try on. She promptly informed me that it was about a thousand dollars beyond my budget and I quickly responded "Oh, okay I don't need to try it on then." But my mom said "oh try it on! If it is the dress of your dreams price is no object!" I said Lady, I love you a lot but you are really bad at this. You have to stick to the budget or the bride sharks will eat you alive. TRUST ME. I watch way too much reality tv.
I was starting to become discouraged as if I would never have that "ah-ha this is my dress" moment. Until we walked into Jeanette's in Manassas. We were met by this rickety English woman who looked a little perturbed to be missing her Sunday afternoon knitting club. No, she was nice. At first. We found a few dresses on the rack and when I tried them on, one really stood out. I loved it more than any of the other dresses I had tried on previously. My mom said "oh that's it! I love it." Which was immediately followed by "but put the one from the magazine on just to compare." The dress outside of my budget. Why keep looking when you've found the one? I didn't do that to Will. I wasn't like 'yes I'll marry you, but I'd like to keep dating around for awhile just to make sure." That's kind of rude I think. But we've never done this before so I kept trying on dresses. Ultimately we returned to Jeanettes to purchase the dress from Old Mother Hubbard. She did a good job after all.
Whew. It's over. I'll never have to sift through hundreds of ugly..I mean really ugly dresses trying to find something suitable to wear in front of 200 people ever again. Now watch me turn into that mother of the bride who begs her daughter to wear her wedding dress 30 years from now!
Dress Shopping
I hated it. What bride says that? Wait, that was weird. I just called myself a bride. That will take some getting used to. But I am a bride and a bride without a plan. I've never dreamed about my wedding dress. I haven't had it picked out since I was a little girl. I don't even wear that much white for fear it will make my arms look like marshmallows. So walking into a bridal salon - wait - first making an appointment to try on gowns - was odd. I never have to make an appointment at Ross Dress for Less and they gladly let me try on as much crap as I want.
I went by myself the first time. I know. Sacrilege. Not going with my own mother. But I was flooded with uncertainty and didn't want to bring her along to influence an opinion I hadn't even formed yet. There were so many things to consider - shape, neckline, fabric - apparently all of which must appropriately match the time and location of your wedding, which was yet to be determined. Everyone wants to know what you want to look like on your wedding day which is another loaded question that I always answered much more sarcastically in my head. Something like a bride maybe? I don't know...maybe something in the white family? I think I've seen some brides wear white before. What kind of question is that? Do people actually answer that question with anything less pathetic than "like a princess?" Blah. This isn't Halloween and I won't be carrying a wand or wearing wings. If only Disney had a line for girls who want to look like a normal bride on their wedding day. So I was stumped.
Unlike the Kleinfeld consultants on Say Yes to the Dress who pick dresses for you, all my consultants made me wade through piles of satin to select things I thought I would like. At first this idea appealed to me. I will be wearing it, and I pick out all the rest of my clothes like a big girl, so why shouldn't I pick out my own wedding dress? Clearly no one knew how dangerous I could be. I became a spitfire of criticism right off the bat. I knew what I did not want, but had no idea what I did want. Rouching and satin were out from the beginning. Whoever convinced an entire species of women that gathering up extra fabric and bunching it around your waist would make you look skinnier was a genius. Turns out I'm on to you. I know your trick and I raise you. Rouching makes everyone look thicker and wider. But the rouching seamstresses have saturated the market and are in cahoots with the satin fairies so asking for something that is NOT satin and that does NOT have rouching is like asking for ice water in hell. People look at you like you are a lost puppy who needs to find her way back to the yellow brick road that leads to rouching and satin. Listen - it's not that I hate satin of everyone. I just hate it on me. It stems from a traumatic experience during college when I was large and in charge in a purple satin dress for some sorority formal. No one had the nerve to tell me that fruit of the loom was not invited to the party and when I look back at those pictures (in my memory - the actuals have been destroyed) I get sick to my stomach. Satin and I have never made amends and I doubt we ever will.
I finally manged to find some gowns in reasonable fabrics that I liked. I just liked them though. There were no tears, no skips around the room, no squeals. I was starting to get the idea. Pick a few dresses. "Dive" into them. Sort in order of preference. Repeat. I narrowed the shape down to two and selected an ideal neck line. I was ready to bring my mom along. The other thing that everyone wants to know as soon as you walk in the door is your budget. You're never supposed to try on dresses outside of your budget because if you fall in love and can't afford it, the heartbreak is unbearable....supposedly. I made up an arbitrary budget based on what I have seen on Say Yes to the Dress and told the saleslady. It was a modest budget compared to the show, but definitely reasonable to find a dress to wear on my wedding day. I also mentioned that there was a dress in a magazine that I loved and wished to try on. She promptly informed me that it was about a thousand dollars beyond my budget and I quickly responded "Oh, okay I don't need to try it on then." But my mom said "oh try it on! If it is the dress of your dreams price is no object!" I said Lady, I love you a lot but you are really bad at this. You have to stick to the budget or the bride sharks will eat you alive. TRUST ME. I watch way too much reality tv.
I was starting to become discouraged as if I would never have that "ah-ha this is my dress" moment. Until we walked into Jeanette's in Manassas. We were met by this rickety English woman who looked a little perturbed to be missing her Sunday afternoon knitting club. No, she was nice. At first. We found a few dresses on the rack and when I tried them on, one really stood out. I loved it more than any of the other dresses I had tried on previously. My mom said "oh that's it! I love it." Which was immediately followed by "but put the one from the magazine on just to compare." The dress outside of my budget. Why keep looking when you've found the one? I didn't do that to Will. I wasn't like 'yes I'll marry you, but I'd like to keep dating around for awhile just to make sure." That's kind of rude I think. But we've never done this before so I kept trying on dresses. Ultimately we returned to Jeanettes to purchase the dress from Old Mother Hubbard. She did a good job after all.
Whew. It's over. I'll never have to sift through hundreds of ugly..I mean really ugly dresses trying to find something suitable to wear in front of 200 people ever again. Now watch me turn into that mother of the bride who begs her daughter to wear her wedding dress 30 years from now!
Sunday, March 13, 2011
The Competition is ON
Crate & Barrel is holding a competition for an ultimate dream wedding - for which they would pay. We are contestants in this competition and we are bound and determined to win something - if not the grand prize. I thought Will was excited to use the scanner to register at Crate & Barrel, but after we entered the comeptition, his game face really came out. He is all about winning, simply because it is a game, not really because of the prize and I'm in it for him too so let's get the vote out!
http://www.ultimateweddingcontest.com/entry/153347?vote=1
Please log into crate and barrel (you can do this with your facebook account) and vote for us! Thank you!
http://www.ultimateweddingcontest.com/entry/153347?vote=1
Please log into crate and barrel (you can do this with your facebook account) and vote for us! Thank you!
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