Getting married in the Catholic church is everything I imagined it would be. Nothing is left up to the bride and groom, there is a set list of music, liturgy and flowers. They tell you when to come, when to leave and what you cannot do during your wedding. I'm not sure we even have to show up and the mass will go on. Hey, that's not a bad idea............straight to the reception we go! It may be cookie cutter in it's design, but at the end of the day we'll be married and that's all we care about. On the way to blissful marriage, however, the Church requires engaged couples to attend a premarital retreat weekend called "Engaged Encounters." Aside from the air conditioned sleeping quarters, it's just like summer camp. A room full of 20 twin beds and two showers for the girls and an adjacent (but not adjoining) room for the guys. Lest you think that we were actually a step above summer camp with our air conditioning, the girls bunk also came complete with large cockroaches.
We were a little apprehensive about having to stand up in front of a bunch of strangers and talk about our relationship, but to our relief, it was even more uncomfortable than that. We had to listen to a married couple talk about their relationship all weekend long. 24 hours of talks about problems they had and how they resolved them, renewing their vows and even how one of them is unable to "perform" they way he used to. Yep, are you squirming in your seat yet? One guy admitted that he almost left his bride at the alter, then failed to put her on his health insurance until she had a miscarriage and that their son's wife turned into a wifezilla who does not want to have kids so there goes the family name. AWK-WARD. After each revealing "talk" by the lead couple, the engaged couples were commissioned to answer questions on the topic individually and then discuss them together. Will and I took this time to make the most of the weekend by joking about everything. We played rousing games of tic-tac-toe, dots, hangman and wrote each other funny poems and stories. Actually, a weekend of laughing together was probably more therapeutic than what we were supposed to be doing.
So for those of you who are engaged but aren't required to attend a pre-marital weekend, we highly suggest that you do anyway just for the fun of it. And if you're married and want to see how much fun it is you should go too.
Here is an excerpt from one of the letters Will wrote me:
"You are the apple of my eye- although I like the Red Delicious apples and you do not. Your one true shortcoming - being a Redskins fan - but it shows your loyalty, which is good for me since you have no problem rooting for a person or team that shows moments of brilliance followed by hours of stupidity.....What we are about to embark on is a dynasty similar to the ones of the 90's Dallas Cowboys, our team will always win, especially when we play the Redskins. You are my heart and soul, but not literally since I need those to live. You bring light into my life - mostly because you leave all the lights on in the house. You are my one and only, I can't afford another woman in my life."
And then it gets sweet and gushy.
